Ms. Thornberry
School Psychologist
email: kimt@ihomschool.org
phone: 388-5685
Promoting Positive
Self-Esteem
It is important to create a climate in which your children can feel good about themselves. Teachers work to promote what is called positive self-esteem. Self-esteem can be either positive or negative. When a person has positive self-esteem, he/she feels that he/she is a successful, worthwhile person. When a person has negative self-esteem, he/she feels unhappy and unsuccessful. Self-esteem is important in all aspects of life. Below are some tips to help promote positive self-esteem at home.
-Praise efforts rather than criticizing products.
Say: “You have really been practicing hard on the piano.”
Don’t say: “You are still making a lot of mistakes in that song.”
-Don’t praise by comparison.
Don’t say: “You’re the best math student in the class.” This may encourage unnecessary competition or
fear of failing.
-Don’t use backhanded praise.
Don’t say: “It’s nice to see you being good for a change.”
-Be specific when you praise. Describe in concrete terms what you see.
Say: “You put a lot of details in this picture. I like the different colored flowers.”
Rather than saying: “Your picture is beautiful.”
-Describe the behavior and its consequence.
Say: “Thank you for straightening up the family room. When we work together, we have more time to go
to the park.”
-Point out how your child has progressed.
Say: “You can play songs with a lot more notes now than you could last year.”
-Give control back to your child by letting him/her do his/her own evaluating.
Say: “You must feel so proud that you did that all by yourself.”
Rather than saying: “I’m so proud of you.”
-Give your child responsibilities at home. This will help your child to feel like an important member of the family.
-Encourage creativity. Encourage your child to pursue their ideas. Do not discourage ideas that you feel are “too difficult”.
Break them down into steps that are attainable.
-Encourage your child to see mistakes as challenges to be solved.
-Teach your child to be a decision maker.
Say: “Would you rather clean the table or fill the dishwasher?”
-Teach children problem solving skills.
Step 1: What is the problem?
Step 2: What can I do to solve the problem? List several ideas.
Step 3: Ask yourself, “What will happen if…” for each of the choices from step 2.
Step 4: Choose a solution and try it out.
Step 5: Ask yourself, “Did the solution work?”
-Use “I” statements when disciplining.
Say: “I felt angry when you…”
Rather than saying: “You made me angry when…”
-Let your child know everyday that he or she is loved.
Kim Thornberry
School Psychologist
Important Letters to Parents
7th & 8th Grade Guidance Program
August 19, 2009
Dear 7th & 8th grade parents,
This year at IHM I will be starting a new program for Jr. High Students who struggle academically. The goal of this program is to help students develop the skills that they need to improve the quality of their work output, and maintain average to above average grades. In order to do this, I will serve in a role similar to that of a High School Guidance Counselor. Hopefully this will help the students become comfortable with the process of accessing help from a counselor, which they will be able to do in High School.
Here is how it will work. When a 7th or 8th grade student’s grade in any subject area drops into the D range (75 or below), the teacher will alert me. Then I will contact you, the parents, to gather your observations and obtain your permission to meet with the student. After I have obtained permission, I will set up a time to meet the student to:
* Review the student's grades on Progress Book
* Talk about why the grade or grades have gone down
* Talk about strategies for organization and study to improve the grade or grades
In some cases, the student will also be referred to Dr. Wellman’s TIPS program.
I will continue to check in with the student once per week until all of the student’s grades have reached a level of C or above (76 or above). At this point, I will continue to monitor the student’s grades, and only meet with the student if any grades drop to 75 or below.
The Jr. High Staff and I wish for all of our students to attain success academically, and will strive to help them develop strategies that will increase their likelihood of success in Jr. High and High School.
If you have any questions, please contact me at kimt@ihomschool.org or at 388-5685 on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, or Friday.
Sincerely,
Kim Thornberry
School Psychologist
DIVORCED/SEPARATED EDUCATIONAL SUPPORT GROUPS
This letter is being sent to all parents of children at IHM School. If the contents of this letter do not apply to you, please disregard.
Dear Parents/Guardians,
For many years at IHM I have been offering educational support groups for children whose parents are separated or divorced. I have found that the children enjoy the opportunity to talk and share feelings about divorce. Therefore, I would like to offer these groups again this year. The purpose of these groups is to give children the opportunity to talk with other children about their common feelings and concerns. Often it is helpful to children to know that other children feel the same way that they do. Some of the topics we will discuss include:
- General feelings about divorce.
- Why do people get divorced?
- Life with the single parent. Visitation. Parental custody.
- Parents dating. Remarriage of parents. Step-parents & step-siblings
- Changes as a result of divorce.
- Communication between parent and child.
- Coping strategies & problem solving strategies.
- Holidays and special occasions.
Each group will have approximately 5 to 8 children. We will meet once per week during a lunch period. The children will eat lunch with me in my room.
If you feel that your child/ren would benefit from a divorce/separated educational support group, please complete and return the bottom of this form to Kim Thornberry at IHM. If you would like more information about the groups, feel free to call me on Mon., Tues., Thurs., or Fri. at IHM School (388-5685).
Sincerely,
Kim Thornberry, School Psychologist
Return to: Kim Thornberry
I am interested in having my child/ren participate in the educational support group for children with divorced or separated parents.
Child/ren’s Names_______________________________________________________
Parent Signature________________________________________Date_____________
7th Grade Girls Social Skills Group
Dear Parents of 7th grade girls:
The middle school and junior high years can often be challenging for girls in terms of friendships and fitting in. In order to help the girls develop the skills they need to face social situations confidently and appropriately, I have been offering social skills groups at to various grade levels for the past several years. The girls seem to enjoy the groups and seem to feel that they are helpful. This fall/winter I would like to offer a social skills group for 7th grade girls. This group is being offered to all 7th grade girls. We will talk about what it is like to be a teen, and learn about how to deal with social/friendship situations that might occur during the teen years. Some of the topics we will cover include:
- Making friends and maintaining friendships.
- What is a clique? How to cope with clique behavior.
- How to problem solve at home and at school.
- How to cope with rumors, talking behind backs, pressure from friends, and other types of bullying.
- How to cope with changes that occur during the preteen/teen years (wanting to be more independent,
worried that other people are judging you, etc.)
We will meet during lunch and recess one day per week for 8 to 10 weeks. If you would like for your daughter to participate in this group, please sign and return the permission slip below. If you have any questions, you can contact me at IHM through email kimt@ihomschool.org, or by phone 388-5685 (Mon., Tues., Thurs., or Fri.).
Sincerely,
Kim Thornberry
School Psychologist
Return to: Ms. Thornberry at IHM School
I give permission for my daughter __________________to participate in the 7th grade social skills group for girls.
______________________________________________ _______________
Parent Signature Date
About Ms. Thornberry:
* Ohio Certified School Psychologist
* Nationally Certified School Psychologist
* Bachelor of Science in Elementary Education Miami University 1982
* Master of Science in School Psychology Miami University 1985
* Employed by Hamilton County Educational Service Center
* School Psychologist at Immaculate Heart of Mary since the fall of 1986
* I work at Immaculate Heart of Mary School on Mon., Tues., Thurs. & Fri.
* I work at St. Gabriel School on Wed.